Titiw Inside

You Know You’re Indonesian When…

Wednesday, 31 October 2007

Your stomach growls when you don’t eat rice for a day.
You believe kecap ABC could turn bad cooking to gourmet food.
You talk during a movie.
You eat fried rice in the morning.
You prefer Versace or Moschino jeans over Gap or Levi’s.
You don’t think Jim Carrey is funny.
You think Onky Alexander is a hunk.
You think Rhoma Irama is kampungan.

You carry a 16 oz. jar of sambal to where ever you travel.
Driving a car that is cheaper than $15,000 embarrasses you.
You think dangdut is stupid, but listen to it anyways, because you are homesick.
You are willing to travel 25 miles to buy tahu and tempe.
You are “Dreaming of a WARM Christmas”.
You are very good at avoiding potholes and other road hazards.
Your local McDonald’s serves rice and sambal.

You think Supermi is a staple food.
You have ever tried passing a Rp 50 coin as a quarter in a US vending machine/pay phone.
You have ever successfully bribed a police officer.
You have ever successfully bribed a customs officer.
You do your shopping in Singapore.
Your drivers license claims you are 5 years older then you really are.
You have ever legally bought pirated software.
You have ever been forced to memorize UUD’45.

You have bought something from a barefooted street peddler.
You know exactly how many islands Indonesia has.
You have ever eaten something sold off a cart on wheels.
You realized that money is everything before you were six.
The first thing that comes to mind when hearing the word “Jakarta” is “macet”.
Someone you know has ever ridden on top of a train.
Your daily commute includes thinking up new ways to ride the city bus for free.
You don’t mind people being late.

You think standing in line is a waste of time.
You have tried every Monday of your youth trying to avoid upacara bendera.
You have used a mosquito repellant that looks like a coil and is lit on one end.
You use the terms “Ni yee”, “-lah” and “Ih, jijay” on daily basis
You know what Pancasila is, what it means and know it by heart.
You complain that movies in America don’t have sub-titles.
Your daily conversation may include enactments of TV commercials.
You have ever consulted a dukun.

Your whole class has ever cheated on a test, and gotten away with it.
You have ever spent the night before an exam looking for someone who sells the questions.
You like the smell of terasi.
You think the Thomas Cup is equal to the Super Bowl.
You can name a manufacturer of shuttlecocks/badminton birdies.
You have a 16′ satellite dish hidden in your back yard.
You have ever ridden in a motor vehicle with three wheels.
You miss your maid during laundry day.
Your clothing has brand names printed on it that is visible from 50′ away.

You attend weddings only until you are done eating.
You have attended weddings that you are not invited to.
You go to McDonald’s to get your weekly supply of ketchup, salt, pepper and napkins.
You know more than one music group that stole the tune of Cranberries’ “Zombie”.
You have a can of Baygon on your kitchen table.
You make major decisions based on gengsi.
You take advantage of Wal-Mart’s 30 days money-back-guarantee to “borrow” home appliances.
Someone in your family has extra pockets in his outfit to hide cookies from the all-you-can-eat bar.

You have paid more then $1000 to get your name on your license plate.
When watching TV you regularly find that all the channels broadcast the same thing.
You know more than 10 acronyms/abbreviations.
You set the ring tone of your cell phone as loud as possible.
You spend your weekends at an expensive five star hotel near your house.
You have one of those gigantic 5000 watts stereo system even though you can’t turn it as loud as you can since you live in a crowded neighborhood.
Your Toyota Kijang is packed with bull bar, fog lights, roof rail, car alarm, expensive car audio, gold plated emblems, tail light “protector”, racing steering wheels, sports muffler, lowered suspension, 17 inch wheels with expensive tires, etc. Yet you find them not gaul enough.

You are able to squeeze 15 passengers in your Toyota Kijang.
If you’re rich, you buy a huge 50.000 dollars imported SUV and demands it to run minimal 12 kilometers with a liter of gas.
You refuse to buy unleaded gas for your imported car even though it costs less than 20 cents a liter.
You have your drivers license at the age of 14.
You got it without any driving tests.
You are unfamiliar with electric stove.
You are even more unfamiliar with microwave ovens.

If you’re a student, your main purpose in life is to succeed in UMPTN and get into a Universitas Negeri.
If you’ve graduated from college, your main purpose in life is to find an easy job with big salary at a foreign company even if you have to stay unemployed for five years to find one.
If you finally got a job, your main purpose in life is now to get a wife/husband that’s rich, from a “good” family, and the most importantly good looking in order to memperbaiki keturunan.

Taken from: Blogthings

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15 thoughts on “You Know You’re Indonesian When…

  1. GuM says:

    wah, rajin ya ngumpulin ginian ^^

    You talk during a movie.
    iya nih, indonesa banget. sebel deh ^^”

  2. titiw says:

    Ini mah kagak ngumpulin mas, tapi tinggal kopi paste kok. Maklum, saya kan orang Indonesa!! ahahahahaha!!!

  3. GuM says:

    aaah, iya.. saya baru sadar :))
    lha wong ujain yang manual (tulis tangan) aja nyontek kok, apalagi yang tinggal kopipes :))

  4. GuM says:

    ups.. typo :D

  5. Totoks says:

    Yes. I’am Indonesian… Puasss..puass.. :D

  6. heRRu says:

    ah enggak segitunya kali Ti orang Indonesia juga. Om baru berasa jadi orang Indonesia kalo janjian terus pada ngaret heheheh

  7. thalique says:

    indonesia banget kayakna kalau ngomong campur inggris ama bahasa lokal..

  8. Rani says:

    eh tiw ini dari groupnya indonesia di facebook ya?

  9. titiw says:

    @Totoks: hihi.. Bagus kalo puas. Satu lagi tipikal orang sini: Gampang berpuas hati, hehehehe..
    @Herru: Karena ini aku ambil dari site punya bule2, maka ini dari anglenya penjajah2 itu Om. Misalnya: “You prefer Versace or Moschino jeans over Gap or Levi’s.” Lah wong beli yang 60.000 aja di Rahmat Jeans bayarnya 3 kali, gak mungkin toch eike beli yang begitu2an, ahahaha..
    @Thalique: No dear. Aku gak ngerasa like that dech (Anjrit, kenapa gue berasa jadi kayak Cinta Laura gini yak? huehehehe..)
    @Rani: Heh? bukan say, aku ambil dr blogthings, btw aku lupa mulu mo buka ekaun FES-es BUK, hihi..

  10. mitra w says:

    If you’ve graduated from college, your main purpose in life is to find an easy job with big salary at a foreign company even if you have to stay unemployed for five years to find one.

    betuulll, ini bener2 indonesia banget :P

  11. Yopie Valentino says:

    Cuma di Indonesia ada yang berani:
    1. Mengaku menjadi Nabi terakhir sesudah Nabi Muhammad SAW, (udah ngumpulin umat banyak-banyak, om Musadek nyerahin diri, dalam waktu 24 jam bertobat!! kalo dia masuk syurga saya org pertama yg protes ama Allah)
    2. Membuat kerajaan Tuhan, gila aja tuh kelompok Eden, tadinya bikin partai trus ngawur dan ga lulus verifikasi eh.. malah bikin kerajaan Tuhan.
    3. Kapal Tengker yang disayang-sayang oleh Pertamina krn cm da 4 di Asia eh dijual obral, separuh harga ke pemerintah separuh lagi ke yang ngebantuin jualin (calo kapal tengker)
    4. Presiden dalam hitungan hari mampu membuat Album Rekaman karyanya, sementara urusan negara ga beres-beres.
    5. Pabrik Shabu ada di dalam Penjara??? memang cara paling gampang nyembunyiin jarum ya di tumpukan jerami.
    6. Negara paling banyak komisi: Komnas HAM, KPAI, KPU, KPPU, KPK, Komnas Penyiaran, KPP, dan puluhan Komisi di DPR. pantes aja jadi pada doyan “KOMISI”
    7. Dihimbau masyarakat dunia jng hancurin hutan ee.. malah minta duit ama dunia untuk menjaga hutan sendiri.

    Tapi Alhamdulillah, Indonesia punya remaja kaya Tiw n friend, apapun itu Indonesia, saya sangat cinta negeri ini.

    –>Wahahahaha.. Bang Yo bisye aje nih, tapi bener juga tuh semua yang diomongin Bang Yo. Jangan mentang2 di sini menyebalkan malah mau kabur jadi WNA atau malah gak peduli. Ada juga kita yg benerin bangsa sendiri. Dihadapi, bukan dihindari. Bukan begitu bukan??! Teteplah pokoknya Aku Cinta Rupiah.

  12. seno says:

    hahahaha Indonesia!!

  13. seno says:

    hahaha Indonesia!!

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About Titiw

Female, double (hamdallah sudah laku), berkacamata minus satu setengah yang dipake kalo mau liat nomor angkutan umum doang.

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